Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who has got started Russian that is learning while in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a lady dating in Russia while learning the language. This might be a subject We have a great deal to state about myself as I experienced a Russian gf inside my amount of time in Kazan that I partly credit with assisting me learn the language therefore quickly (links to my tale below).
Therefore it’s interesting to know another perspective – especially the one that respects the standard values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed to your West as being a cool, difficult spot with a few magical architecture, variety vodka shots, and a leader whom dances with bears and whom, for a few unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a shirt.
The individuals are portrayed when you look at the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or people in gangs whom continue steadily to relate to one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is generally not very A russian term! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst it really is cool, vodka truly exists, and calendars having a shirtless putin and puppies are not an issue, you will find one thousand misconceptions about Russian tradition and individuals.
After residing here for very long sufficient to get a good glimpse into Russian tradition, here you will find the things you to know about Russia and Russians that I want:
1. The greater conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its perks in dating (and day-to-day life)
Before I have stuck into this point, I would like to inform you that i actually do not condone any “traditional” view of women which involves domestic physical violence or almost any behavior that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance associated with the woman’s free will.
The thing I do like to state is, as being a financially-independent Western girl, I FAVOR that Russian males hold doorways available me off buses for me and help.
Do it is expected by me? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it will or does not take place? Not really.
Do i’m a flutter that is small of in my own stomach whenever my date does it? Without a doubt I Actually Do!
It’s a gesture that is respectful it implies that they’re capable of thinking about other people. If nothing else, that is definitely a lot better than having a guy yell “nice arse” at me personally from a car or truck…
It’s a tad bit more complicated away from the dating scene.
I’m grateful when a guy helps me down through the train or bus. I’m Australian and I also have always been maybe not yet comfortable leaping down one thing just a little higher than I’d so it is genuinely helpful like it to be when my landing space is covered in snow and ice.
It’s also heartwarming to see guys women that are helping prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things within the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just just what my male 14-year-old pupils are as much as once they insist upon keeping the class home available in my situation. ??
It is additionally only a little bewildering whenever an senior girl rejects my offer to aid her along with her shopping, and then accept the offer for the next moving male.
Russia is certainly not an impairment friendly devote numerous ways, therefore I do question whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized into the West and called down as possibly being “sexist” are borne of requisite and consideration, much less a direct result a more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, whenever I remember the battles with the Russians jumping off their seats to assist anyone slightly worse off than themselves, I think the West could learn a thing or two that I had with lazy/tired Melbourne workers for a train seat when I had stitches in my foot and compare it.
2. The greater amount of traditional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its downsides in dating
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are specific objectives which come along side being women in Russia that we don’t always contribute to. I’m a pretty low-to-zero maintenance woman, within the feeling that We don’t invest a huge amount of time keeping myself and my usual hairstyle is “yes, my locks was washed recently sufficient after which left to its very own devices”.
I definitely don’t appearance or scent I can probably be best described as plain like I spent the last three years living with Russian bears, but, compared to the effort put in by Russian women.
Some of my friends that are male times have actually brought this through to a quantity of occasions.
A number of the feedback are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress like a Russian”
Most are a tad bit more overt:
“Have you ever considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all proof that my attitude is unquestionably a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or who don’t take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t likely to be ostracized these times. We have firsthand experience and a lot of anecdotes that recommend Russian guys choose women that will tackle these tasks with a grin.
The Russian guy that I’ve been seeing is very happy to prepare. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever we remain.
He’s additionally significantly more than happy to use the backseat on any other dinner and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever I prepare.
No foul it’s a little Pavlovian, but for now I find it cute so no harm.
Another difference that is cultural I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils in my own classes have actually raised their eyebrows more often than once whenever I’ve mentioned hanging out with a male buddy.
Navigating friendships with Russian males could be tricky because their motives are usually a small dissimilar to your own personal.
This definitely exists within Western culture, nevertheless the undertones take steroids in Russia, where marriage and young ones are hot subjects between the moms and dads of single individuals within their mid-to-late twenties.